Posted by stefanie on February 12, 2004 at 12:14:35:
In Reply to: Pain(plz respond) posted by Avis on February 09, 2004 at 16:45:47:
This is very sad. I would say this part should be the chorus:
just endless yearning,
For something that can satisfy,
For something that can fill the hole,
For something that can gratify,
And for something that can make me full.
Because you are rambling on about the pain, and we don't know the cause of the pain, though it sounds like depression to me (and I can relate to that!) I would say try to focus your thinking a little. Because the words themselves are nice, just needs to maybe be organized if you're going for pop! If you're not, then it's sad, but good!